Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend, Significant Other,

1. From June 9 to July 9, 2006, you should
read the sports section of the newspaper so that
you are aware of what is going on regarding the
World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in
the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you
will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally
ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any
attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is
mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you
even catch a glimpse of the remote control, you will
lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV
during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it
crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If
you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make
sure you put clothes on right after because if you
catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the
doctor or look after you during World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and
mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or
something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer
the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on
the floor.... It won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at
least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as
well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do
not make any funny faces at my friends when they
come over to watch the games. In return, you will
be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 6pm,
unless they replay a good game that I missed
during the day.

6. Please, please, please! If you see me upset
because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT
say “Get over it, it’s only a game”, or “Don’t worry,
they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you
will only make me angrier and I will love you less.
Remember,you will never ever know more about
football than me and your so called “words of
encouragement” will only lead to a break-up.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch
one game and you can talk tome during half-time
but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the half-time score pleases me. In addition, please
note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the
World Cup as an excuse to “spend time together”.

8. The replays of the goals are very important.
I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen
them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any baby-, or
any other child-related parties or gatherings that
require my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his
house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be
there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on
TV every night are just as important as the games
themselves. Do not even think about saying “but
you have already seen this ... why don’t you
change the channel to something we can all
watch?” because, the reply will be “Refer to Rule
#2 of this list.”

12. And, finally, please save expressions such
as “Thank God the World Cup is only every four
years”. I am immune to these words, because after
this comes the Champions League, Italian League,
Spanish League Premier League, FA Cup, etc.



Thank you for your cooperation.



Regards,

Men of The World

omg...i really wonder who wrote this stuff...damn funny...